I always smile when "science" reflects God's wisdom. This is from King Solomon's collection of Proverbs. Solomon's God infused wisdom:
"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." -Proverbs 15:1
King Solomon had some wisdom naturally and recognized its value. He saw that harsh words flare tempers. Flared tempers lead to broken jaw, broken noses, and broken hearts.
In the world of counseling and mental health crisis intervention, we are taught the value of a gentle word and a calm spirit. It is amazing what a gentle word and sincere kindness can do when someone is in crisis. Anger most often follows hurt or fear. To be perfectly honest, words puked out in fits of temper rarely lead to solutions.
A soft answer turns away wrath. A whispered word... people will strain to hear it. Speaking softly, slowly, and respectfully can turn the tide in heated conversations. Words that land like blows of the fist rarely lead to a solution.
Mama Ina Mae oozed gentle words. I do not remember her ever yelling at us in anger. It was not her way. She yelled to call us inside at the end of a summer day's play.
I remember her telling me not to yell at Matt when he had climbed to the top of a grain bin around the age of three. As we ran out the door to rescue him, I remember her clearly saying, "Valerie, don't yell at him." She knew exactly what my 9-year-old self might do. She knew that startling Matt might cause him to lose his grip and fall to his death. (He planned to help Dad by raking the grain in the bin.) Mama knew the life protecting value in a gentle word and saw the potential danger in a harsh one. It gave me a chance to scurry up the ladder to guide him back down to solid ground. Keeping Matt alive was a full time job.
Mark Twain said, "Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." A gentle answer deflects anger. Pause, listen, and wait for the tide to turn. Yelling rarely changes minds. It often leads to loss of control and violence.
What would King Solomon say about today's world? We could use his God-gifted wisdom.
Today, I am grateful for gentle words.
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