Step & Bonus Dads

Daily Gratitude Year 13 - Day 39: Today, I am grateful for step-dads who are bonus dads.

 I guess there are two kinds of Step-Dads. I did not write about Joseph at Christmas. I decided today is the day. I do not buy Christmas postage stamps if they leave Joseph out of the family portrait! 

I love Joseph. Where would Mary have been if Joseph had not said “yes” to God’s calling on his life and “no” to abandoning, stoning, or punishing Mary? Let’s be honest, his life did not turn out as he planned. Still, he chose to love Mary and Joseph with his whole heart. 

Joseph put their needs and safety above his convenience and his personal life plan when they fled to Egypt. He became Mary’s  partner in marriage and life  He was “all in” as Jesus’s earthly bonus father. He was there at his birth. He taught him his trade. Together, Joseph and Mary would raise their unusual son. Human-God DNA was seeded by God in her womb. The miracle of it all requires faith for us, but they lived it.  

I have never been fond of the word “step” added to Dad and Mom. Surely, we can do better. I have appreciated the “bonus” phrasing. It indicates a positive relationship. Children of all

 ages need a dad. Some “step” fathers are truly bonus fathers when biological fathers are present and engaged. An extra person to love, teach, defend, and protect a child is a bonus.  Sadly, many check out when a marriage ends. Personally, I think God has an extra special reward for the “Joseph’s” when they meet Him face to face. 

The men (and women) who step in to love a child as their own are the best of the best! They step in when someone else steps out or is lost in the sorrow of death. Whatever the reason, a choice is made. Love is always the best choice.  I guess that changes my perspective on the word “step” a little.  I still prefer bonus. Brad Paisley’s son, “The Man He Didn’t Have to Be” touches my heart every time I hear it.  

Many times in my years in social services, I heard parents and children refer to their “step” parent as their “real” parent. They were not wrong. Jesus was clear about our responsibility for widows and orphans. 

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” -James 1:27

Most Biblical scholars believe the book of James was penned by James the brother of Jesus. That would make him the son of Mary and Joseph. We do not know when Joseph died, but he is not mentioned at the wedding feast where Jesus performed the water to wine miracle. James would have known first hand the loss of a father and a grieving mother.  Is that why Jesus said:

“Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” -John 2:4

That miracle would kick off the three years of Jesus’s ministry before his crucifixion. Still, Mary was confident he would do as she asked. She was his Mama. She saw friends in distress. He knew what was ahead of him once his three year walk to the cross began. 

Joseph raised him to honor his father and his mother… both of his fathers. He did as he was taught. 

Imagine the scene when Joseph and Jesus reunited in heaven! What an emotional moment of joy. 

Today, I am grateful for step-dads (and moms) who are bonus dads (and moms).